Ceremony Options
Guy Thee Wed
You are in the right place my friend.
Welcome! As you embark on the exciting journey of planning your wedding ceremony, you'll quickly discover that there's a beautiful tapestry of possibilities awaiting you. From traditional rituals to uniquely personal expressions, the choices you make will weave together the heart and soul of your special day.
Navigating these wonderful options can feel both thrilling and a little overwhelming, but don't worry! As your wedding officiant, I'm here to be your trusted guide, helping you explore the many paths available to create a ceremony that perfectly reflects your love story and your vision for your future together. Let's begin crafting a moment that is truly and wonderfully yours.
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Outline of a Ceremony
There are no cookie cutter templates here! Yet, a well-crafted ceremony follows an order that flows well, makes sense to your friends and family, and builds excitement to the big finish where I introduce you as a new couple.
This is the order of a wedding ceremony if all the choices were included. Special Note: I rarely perform a ceremony with all the choices. It is totally up to you!
Welcome and Announcements (usually no cellphones)
Processional
Opening Remarks and Love Story
Optional: Reading
Declaration of Intent (I Do’s)
Vows
Optional: Unity Ceremony (Sand, Candle, etc.)
Ring Exchange
Optional: Ring Warming
Optional: Support of Family and Friends
Pronouncement (By the authority vested in me…)
Kiss
Optional: Blessing
Introduction of the Couple
Recessional
Bonus: Signing Ceremony after the recessional
The Processional
The processional sets the tone, builds anticipation, and visually signifies the beginning of your union. While tradition often dictates a specific order, modern couples have embraced the freedom to personalize this moment, making it a meaningful reflection of their unique relationships and family structures.
Typically, the processional is a collaboration between the couple and your coordinator or planner. But, I like to share with couples the many choices you have.
Traditional Order with Personal Touches:
The officiant, followed by the groom, then the wedding party in pairs or singly, with the bride and her escort finishing the processional.
Focusing on Family:
Parents Walking Together: Instead of just the bride being escorted, both partners can choose to be walked down the aisle by their parents, symbolizing the support and love of their families.
Blended Families: For couples with children, the processional can be a powerful moment to showcase the merging of families. Children can walk with their parents or even all together as a new family unit.
Grandparents and Other Honored Guests: Consider including grandparents or other significant loved ones in the processional to acknowledge their importance in your lives.
A Special Role for the Groom:
Traditionally, the groom often stands at the front awaiting his partner. However, there's a growing trend and a beautiful sentiment in having the groom also be walked down the aisle by loved ones. This can be a powerful way to honor his parents or family, include stepparents or mentors, and symbolize his journey to this moment.
Bonus: For some grooms, having a loved one by their side during the entrance can provide comfort, support and ease nerves.
Ultimately, your processional is a personal expression. There are no right or wrong answers, only the choices that feel most meaningful and authentic to you as a couple. Let's discuss your relationships, your vision for your ceremony, and the people you want to honor, and together we will craft a processional that beautifully sets the stage for your marriage.
Readings
Readings can add a beautiful layer of depth and personal meaning to your wedding ceremony. They offer a chance to share sentiments that resonate with your love story and involve cherished family and friends in your special moment.
Here's a look at incorporating readings:
Adding Depth and Meaning: Readings provide an opportunity to express emotions and ideas that might not be covered in the standard ceremony format. They can offer wisdom, inspiration, or simply a beautiful reflection on love and marriage.
A Wonderful Way to Include Loved Ones: Readings are a fantastic way to involve family members or close friends in your ceremony who might not be part of the wedding party. It gives them a special role and allows them to actively contribute to your celebration.
Meaningful Passages are Key:
The most impactful readings are those that hold personal significance for you as a couple.
Think about poems you both love, scripture verses that guide you, or even something heartfelt written by a family member.
Is a Reading Right for You?
Consider This: Although readings can be a lovely addition, they aren't a requirement for every couple. Your ceremony can be just as meaningful without them.
A Sign it Might Not Be the Right Fit:
If you find yourselves endlessly searching the internet for a "perfect" reading without any personal connection to the words, it might be a sign that readings aren't a natural fit for your ceremony. Forcing a reading in the ceremony just to have one can sometimes feel less authentic.
Ultimately, the decision to include readings is yours. If there are words or passages that already hold a special place in your hearts or people you'd love to involve in this way, then readings can be a truly beautiful addition to your wedding ceremony.
Vows
The exchange of vows is the heart of your wedding ceremony – the moment you make your heartfelt promises to one another. You have two primary ways to approach this sacred part of your day:
Repeat-After-Me Vows
How it works: Your officiant will say a line, and you repeat it to your partner.
Highlight: Provides structure and can ease anxiety for couples who might be nervous speaking freely during the ceremony.
Good Choice If: You plan to share more personal vows during a private first look or if you anticipate being very emotional during the ceremony and prefer a guided approach.
Vows Written by the Couple
How it works: You and your partner each write your own unique promises to one another.
Highlight: Often the emotional peak and highlight of the ceremony, offering a deeply personal and intimate expression of your love and commitment.
Tip: Make sure to have them written in a booklet. No reading from your cellphone!
Allows You To: Share specific promises, memories, and hopes for your future together and reflect your unique personalities and relationship dynamic.
“Your ceremony should be a personal reflection of you both as you embark on your life journey together. I am here to help guide you in the process.”
Ring Warming Ceremony
Looking for a meaningful way to involve your loved ones in your ceremony? Consider a ring warming ceremony.
What it is: Before you exchange rings, your wedding bands are passed among selected guests, who each hold them for a moment, imbuing them with their silent blessings, well wishes, and love for your marriage.
How it works:
Wedding Party: The rings can be passed through your bridesmaids and groomsmen as they stand.
Parents: A touching way to involve your parents, symbolizing their support and guidance.
Children: If you have children (from previous relationships or together), this is a beautiful way to include them in the symbolism of your union.
Extended Family & Close Friends: You can choose a select group of important people to participate.
Everyone: For a more inclusive approach, the rings can be passed through a larger portion or even all of your guests.
Emotional Impact: This simple act can create a powerful sense of connection and shared joy. As the rings make their way to you, they carry the tangible warmth and heartfelt intentions of your community.
Involving Loved Ones: A ring warming ceremony is a beautiful and intimate way to acknowledge and include your cherished family and friends in your wedding ceremony, making them active participants in the creation of your marriage.
Remembrance and Memorials
For many couples, the absence of loved ones who have passed away or those who are unable to attend due to distance or circumstance is deeply felt on this momentous occasion. Incorporating a moment of remembrance at the beginning of your ceremony offers a tender way to honor their memory and acknowledge their continued influence in your lives.
Here is one way that I acknowledged loved ones in a recent ceremony:
“Today is a day of tremendous joy and celebration, and as we celebrate we are mindful especially of those who we so deeply wish could be with us, but who are unable to be physically present. They’re in our hearts and minds, and they’re with us in spirit in all that's happening here today.”
Many couples also choose to create a memorial table, displaying photographs of their loved ones who are no longer with them. This provides a visual representation of their presence and allows guests to pause and remember them throughout the celebration.
It's worth noting that while both options are beautiful expressions of remembrance, couples often choose one or the other, rather than both. This helps to keep the focus of the ceremony primarily on the joyous occasion of your marriage while still providing a meaningful opportunity to honor those who are missed.
Mentioning God, Blessings, and Prayers
As your wedding officiant, I understand that for many couples, faith plays a significant role in their lives and their relationship. Further, there are couples who prefer to not include these elements in their ceremony. It is your ceremony and I want to guide you to what fits you both the best.
Although I am not an ordained minister, I am glad to incorporate references to God and spiritual elements into your wedding ceremony, creating a moment that reflects your beliefs and values as you embark on this commitment.
There are many beautiful and meaningful ways to weave faith into your ceremony:
Ways to Mention God:
Opening Remarks: We can begin the ceremony by acknowledging the presence of God. For example, I might say, "We are in the presence of God, our family, and our friends, to celebrate the love and commitment of [Partner A] and [Partner B]."
Readings: You may choose to include scripture readings or other sacred texts that resonate with your faith and speak to the principles of love, commitment, and partnership.
Personal Vows: You can choose to include personal vows that express your commitment to each other within the context of your faith, perhaps referencing God's guidance or blessing on your marriage.
A Blessing or Prayer After the Exchange of Rings:
Following the profound act of exchanging rings – tangible symbols of your unending love and commitment – is a beautiful moment to invite a blessing or offer a prayer over your union. Here are a few examples I have done in recent weddings:
Blessing 1:
Let us now take a moment to offer a blessing upon these rings and upon the union they represent. May God bless these rings as symbols of the unbroken circle of your love. May He grant you both the grace to cherish and support one another, to grow in love and understanding, and to build a life filled with joy, peace, and His abundant blessings. Amen.
Blessing 2:
May God bless you and keep you and may God’s face shine on you all the days of your marriage and may you be a blessing to others.
Unity Ceremonies
A unity ceremony is a symbolic act within your wedding that visually represents the joining of your two lives or families into one. It's a beautiful way to personalize your ceremony and create a lasting memory of your commitment. Here are a few popular options:
Unity Candle
How it works: You each light an individual candle, then together light a larger center candle, symbolizing the merging of your individual lives.
Highlight: Classic and visually appealing, representing the joining of two flames into one.
Tip: Not a good choice for outdoor weddings.
Sand Ceremony
How it works: You each pour different colored sand into a single vessel, creating a unique layered design that cannot be separated.
Highlight: Represents the blending of your lives and families, creating a beautiful keepsake.
Water Blending Ceremony
How it works: Similar to the sand ceremony, you each pour water (sometimes with added coloring) into a single vessel.
Highlight: Symbolizes the irreversible blending of your lives and can be particularly meaningful if water holds significance for you.
Wine or Whiskey Blending Ceremony
How it works: You each pour a different type of wine or whiskey into a shared carafe, then take a sip of the blended drink.
Highlight: Represents the blending of your individual tastes and the richness that comes from your union.
Tree Planting Ceremony
How it works: Together, you plant a small tree or shrub using soil from your childhood homes or other meaningful locations.
Highlight: Symbolizes the roots of your relationship growing and flourishing together, creating a living reminder of your commitment.
Handfasting Ceremony
How it works: Your hands are gently tied together with ribbons or cords, symbolizing the binding of your lives and your commitment to one another.
Highlight: A beautiful and ancient tradition that visually represents your union and allows for the inclusion of meaningful colors in the cords.
Love Letter & Wine Box Ceremony
How it works: You each write a love letter to one another and place them in a box with a bottle of wine. The box is sealed and meant to be opened on a future anniversary (e.g., 5th or 10th) to reminisce.
Highlight: A sentimental ceremony that creates a time capsule of your love and provides a special moment to look forward to in your marriage.